Are you kidding me?

Found a new blurb in something I mentioned earlier by the unbelievably stupid Chuck Norris. The quote:

If we are ever to restore civility in our land and our schools, we must turn back the clocks to a time when such shocking crimes didn’t even exist – when we valued life and respected one another much more then we do today. We must use the Bible (humanity’s blueprint for life and ”bluebook” for value) to retrain our youth about theirs and others’ value as children of God, made in His image.

Turn back the clocks to a time when such shocking crimes didn’t even exist? Are you fucking joking? The old testament you claim as a history text is strongly focused on genital mutilation, wars, genocides, incest, rape, prostitution, deception, human sacrifice, and literal wrestling with god! The high point of the new testament is the torture and murder of a traveling preacher, against whom the closest thing to a legal claim is that he preached on the sabbath.

The foundation of modern xianity is based on a reframing of that guy’s teachings by a Roman citizen who never met him. And we want to use this as the foundation of our culture in a time when we have guns?
Yes, let’s go back to the days of stoning disobedient children, shunning the sick, and prayer for healing. I sure would like to be able to rape a young woman if she rejects me, pay her father a pittance, then legally keep her as my wife. And if I decide I don’t like or can’t afford my daughters, perhaps it really is in their best interest that I should sell her into biblically sanctioned servitude. That, by the way, is just a nice word for “slavery”, and would most likely become “sexual slavery”, which I suppose could be fun for the girls.

And I really love the idea of “us” vs. “them” mentality, especially when we get to claim the deity is on our side, and that we are persecuted if our preconceived notions of morality conflict with someone else’s. It’s a great system to teach respect for life and keeping the peace in god‘s kingdom.

The biblical times were the good old days? Not fucking likely, Chuck.

Asshat.

You know you’re doing something right when Chuck Norris is scared of you

I really should take his paranoid tirade apart point-by-point, but I have better things to do.Let me just say that Chuck has officially made a jackass of himself in this article about how the atheists are trying to outlaw Christianity.

If only we could, fuckwad, you’d be one of the first against the wall just for being a particularly stupid Christian.

(Just an act of defiance targeted directly at the Texas Ranger’s paranoia)

I would have loved to have made comments on the actual article, but he doesn’t take comments, he only preaches. Strong evidence that he cannot take the criticism he invites with his weak arguments.
[update: I suddenly cannot get enough of Chuck Norris mockery. Please send more!]