Spaghetti Code

Obviously I’ve had a lot of gripes about religion and the political influence the various denominations manage to wield in our country.

Lately however, I’ve been too busy to worry about those things, because I’ve been working on a different problem that is equally as “Barking Mad” as the religious question.

I’m a computer geek by trade, and managed to get a contract to help de-spaghettify some code that was written in a rather ad-hoc manner for a company that clearly has more cash than expertise, insight, or perhaps sense. The sins of the man who designed and wrote the code are many, but that’s not the part that bothers me.

What makes me absolutely fucking nuts is that the guy who designed this abomination is still getting paid for the original codebase as we’re rewriting it (this time in a less horrible fashion). But that’s not why I want to kill him.

No, it’s okay that he’s still getting paid for his work, horrible as it is. But I will never, ever, forgive or forget the fact that the stupid unthinking hack who built a horrible monstrosity of code out of scotch tape and toothpicks is getting paid right now more than any two (maybe three, I can’t bear to actually do the math) developers who are now being tasked with fixing this mess.


If I ever meet this asshole face-to-face I may just kill him on the spot, and he’ll never even know why.


3 thoughts on “Spaghetti Code

  1. Dude, I don’t know why I started to think of this after reading your post, but do you know how much of all of our jobs are cleaning up after the crap someone else messed up?

    I mean, every kind of job! I work with adults with disabilities and manage their homes, and with my latest, I have spent more than a year and a half just trying to clean it up to get it to functioning level. What is that?

  2. Sounds like what I have to do with Medicaid every day. Start something, make it difficult without reason, and then let someone else correct. Yup! I hear you, my friend.

  3. I bet he gets a phat bonus check too. I mean, that is the heart and sacred essence of free market capitalism: Reward the inept fuckups and get the unions to slash their benefits. Ya know, just like that parable about the Pharisees and the mustard seed and some shit.

    Somehow “Up against the wall, motherfucker!” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

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